Rufus Tramples Your Confidence

Rufus is the snooty, know-it-all, art critic that lives inside the mind of every artist.

I can't tell you the number of times I've told my children, "Stupid should be painful." Now, before anyone gets up and arms with that, I'm not saying they should get hurt. I'm just saying I hope they learn from their mistakes so bigger ones don't happen.

But what happens when the bad decision is painful for someone else? Rufus LOVES when this happens, and his favorite thing? When the bad decision is actually a bad choice of words.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," right?

WRONG!

From being told art won't get me anywhere in life to being told to get a real job, goodness has Rufus pulled out all the stops in helping people come up with the worst things to say (and, usually, at the worst times). Sometimes, they are passing comments from strangers to which I give rent in my mind, and other times, they are comments from people I love that meant well but cut deep. It's when these happen that Rufus starts his murmurings:

"Art won't get you anywhere because you're no good at it. You know it, and they know it too."

"Why don't you quit now before you really embarrass yourself?"

"You're all dried up. You have nothing new to offer."

"You're going to fail. You're not going to be good enough. You never were."

I'm sure similar thoughts have crossed the minds of almost every artist, so how do we move past it and have the confidence to go on?

I don't know how to describe it other than my why, my purpose, my reason for creating art.

For me, I needed to create like I needed to breathe. Let's have an honest discussion here. Art was an escape from the reality of day-to-day life, but that's not all that drove me toward that passion.

I'm an introvert and a homebody. Would you believe that I have an adventurous spirit? Each piece of artwork became an imaginative pondering, a challenge I just had to accept. I spent A LOT of quiet time thinking and reflecting, and that led to new ideas for artistic adventures. Each one became a mental reward that surpassed the negativity.

The only way I can explain my why for creating is it was God-driven. It was a day-in, day-out constant positive that got me through the dark times and brought so much happiness and joy into my life. Art opened doors I never dreamed existed. Art grew my soul and my heart. Art played a key role in making me who I am today. Art made unforgettable memories and helped me to do the same for others.

Don't get me wrong. There were still several times I wanted to throw in the towel and have a "normal" job, but each time I did that, I ended up tail-tucking and running back to creating.

So, when Rufus is trampling your confidence, when people open their mouths and say something hurtful or insulting, and when it seems like it would be better to just give up, remember:

1) Why are you creating art?

2) You are not alone in your struggles.

3) You can do this.